Love-Gods' Definition

Our culture paints a pretty grim picture of love. If we were to believe the societal definition of love, there would be no point in even seeking it. Love today is selfish, physical and short term. Over half of all marriages end in divorce, most dating relationships don't even last a year. Our culture is a "now" culture, we are addicted to instant gratification and gratuitous love. The love of today is really just lust and infatuation; it lives for the moment with no real thought of commitment and no real concern for another's well being. We buy into advertisements that tell us love is physical and immediate. This is scary and its no wonder 13 year olds are having sex and calling it love. This is what we are taught love is. What happens when infatuation wears off? When we are left with who we really are and real emotions being exposed? Are we falling out of love? I'd like to propose a definition that says no, this is where real love begins. A definition from the Creator of Love, God Himself.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us, "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices when the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance". This is quite different from how my generation sees love. Love waits, for physical expression, for intimacy and for marriage. Love is kind, it does not belittle, demean or intentionally hurt. Love is not selfish, it puts others first. Love does not have the "looking out for number one" mentality. In real love, you are not number one. Love forgives, unconditionally. Love never, ever gives up. Love endures and lasts forever.

John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this: that he lay his life down for his friends". This is absolute selflessness. When we truly love someone, we must be willing to do anything for him or her. To lay down our lives if necessary. Love looks out for the other person, it tries to make decisions based on what is best for the other. An added blessing in this is that God also tells us in Galatians 6:7b, "You will always reap what you sow." That means if you sow selflessness in your relationships, you will reap it as well. The one loving you will have your best interests at heart and will put you first.

Ephesians 4:25 tells us, "Put away all falsehood and tell your neighbor the truth because we all belong to each other." Love doesn't lie, love rejoices in the truth. If we are to truly love someone, we must be honest, even at the cost of losing the relationship. A relationship built on lies will never last, the truth always comes out. It is a sign of respect and humility to be honest with the ones you love. This culture tells us to hide everything, all imperfections and insecurities. God tells us to be honest about them and to help one another through those things. When we are truthful, love rejoices.

1 Corinthians 13:13 says, "There are three things that will endure - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love". Love lasts, real love never goes away. Truly loving someone, not just with feelings, but with time and commitment will endure. It will endure all things, good and bad. We all know stories of love that "stood the test of time". These are stories of true love, whether it was a marriage or a friendship. Love wins out over all other things.

In Matthew 5:44 Jesus tells us, "But I say love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you". This is a hard truth about love. To love someone unlovable, who shows no love themselves...why love them. Jesus goes on to say in verse 47, "If you are only kind to your friends, how are you different than anyone else?". Love has no prejudices, it is not selective, not reserved for only the "good" people. Love is for anyone and everyone and what a testimony it is to the state of our hearts when we love those who show no love. Love is a sacrifice of self.

As you can see, the Lords' definition of love is quite different than ours (and we haven't even covered all He had to say about it!). As unromantic as it may seem, love is an investment of time, emotion, energy and commitment. Love sacrifices and puts others first. Love says no to instant gratification. True love waits. Love forgives and reaches out to the unlovable. What a difference there would be in this world if we loved the way God asks us to, the way He first loved us. God forgives our every sin, He sacrificed Himself for us, He waits patiently on us and is kind and gentle. We could begin to make a difference in our relationships today if we applied His definition of love.