Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Conversation with an Atheist

I met an atheist, a real one. A definitive personal declaration of the belief that God does not exist. I guess I have known a few over the years but not one that would actually talk to me about what being an atheist means to them personally. Statistically speaking, atheists are the most hated group of people in the world. And I’m a Christian. It can make for an awkward and guarded conversation. I decided I was going to listen to every word this person had to say with no judgment, no argument, nothing but hearing them out on the decision to so resolutely claim that there is no God.


I’ve talked with people that claimed to be atheists before, but they were almost always people that were just mad at God. They didn’t really believe that He doesn’t exist; they were just upset with something they perceived as a wrong done to them by God. This was different.

I thought that as I listened that I would become angry and hurt and feel some need to defend God and Christians. I didn’t. With every word from this persons’ lips, I became more and more sad. I was heartbroken. This was not someone that had a prayer go unanswered or a loved one die and blamed God. I think I expected that. This was someone that was so torn apart by the people in the church, by the Christians, the Christ followers, the supposed lovers of all, that they could only conclude that God must not be real. If the church is the representation of Christ in this world and the church is completely tearing others down, condemning, pointing fingers, hurting and making impossible rules to follow, then God can’t exist. That was the opinion. And it made sense. If you go to the church to find God and only find hate and fear and legalism then maybe He is not real.

My heart ached beyond all compare. We, the church, are ruining the church. And it’s nothing new. This is not some 21st century church fad. We’ve been doing it as long as the church has existed. Jesus Himself questioned the religious leaders in His time. It’s only by the grace of God Himself that the church continues. I believe God exists, absolutely, no question. But this conversation made me ask “Does He exist in us? In me?” Are we doing our job as the church of giving the world a picture of Christ? Or are we painting Him as a mean, vicious, vengeful, hateful Savior? Now, please don’t get me wrong, I am very well aware that not all people in a church are like this. There are many wonderful, amazing, loving and generous people in churches everywhere. But as a whole, as the universal Bride of Christ, are we really doing our best in this world? I don’t think so.

This conversation made me think back to the times I attended different churches before I accepted Christ. I often felt overwhelmed with all I had to do to be loved by God (aka “church people”), I felt judged, alone and afraid. I was pretty convinced that there was no way at all that God could love someone like me. I know part of that was my own fears and insecurities. But it was also largely due to the fact that I was not accepted “as is”, I had to change way too much of me, my personality, my character, my passions, etc to get into the church. Didn’t God create me? Isn’t He pleased at His unique creation? I know there were things in my life that needed to change, but the core of who I am? The very heart and soul that God Himself breathed into me? Why did I have to change that? How could I possibly change that without denying all that He made me to be? I can definitely indentify with this atheist. I thank God I found a church family that loved and accepted me. That taught me how to grow in Christ without sacrificing the very person He created me to be. That showed me how to use my unique talents and quirks to better serve Him. Otherwise, I could have easily found myself in the same boat. An atheist, so turned off by the people of God that I saw no other option than to believe that He couldn’t exist.

The next time you sit talking to someone about God (atheist or not), really think about the words coming out of your mouth. Are you passionately in love with the one and only God? Do your words, actions and life show that? Or do you speak out of both sides of your mouth? Do you extol the love and grace of God, while at the same time condemning and judging someone whom you have deemed as beneath you? Are you painting the appropriate picture of Christ and his death, his resurrection, his overwhelming love and compassion for ALL humanity? It is something that anyone who claims to be a Christian should be thinking about every single second of every single day. I would hate to get to heaven and find out that something I said or did here on this earth caused someone to not only fall away from God, but to go so far as to claim that He doesn’t exist at all.

It really is something to think about.