Learning to Dance In The Rain

Stormy seasons, low in spirit, downhearted, down in the dumps, hopeless.........



Above are some of the euphemisms we use for depression and we have to use euphemisms because we Christians don't get depressed. Almighty God sent Jesus to die on the cross for us...what in the world could we possibly be depressed about?!?



Almost 10% of Americans,18 and older, have a diagnosed depression disorder. Want to bet some of those are Christians? And I wonder how much higher that percentage would be if more Christians sought help for depression?



I will get of my soapbox now :) and get back to my blog!



I'm depressed....pretty much all the time. I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. Something misfires in my brain and I have a tough time functioning without medication. It really ticks me off a lot....I know all that I have to be thankful for, all the reasons I have to smile every day....and I'm still depressed.



About 10 years ago, when I became a Christian I fell into the "Christians cannot be depressed" trap, the unspoken rule of churchgoers everywhere. I stopped taking my medication and believed that I would be ok because I was a Christian now......



I was most definitely NOT ok, not even a little bit. I was nasty, deep, dark, in a pit depressed. I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't take care of my self and I wanted to die. Very seriously not ok. And I didn't understand?????? Didn't I accept Christ? Didn't He love me? Wasn't I supposed to be all better and fixed up now? Some nice, kind people in the church told me that "I just needed a little more faith"...okie dokie, sprinkle some of that in there with the "church folk aren't depressed" and I should be alrighty! Or NOT. I was told "we all have our crosses to bear"...."God's ways aren't our ways".....and my personal favorite (sounds a lot like Jobs' friends) "What sin are you not confessing?"



So.....I had my answer! I needed to get happy, get some more faith, shoulder up my cross, understand God's ways are His own and start making up sins to confess (because I was pretty sure I had confessed mine already). That folks, is the anti-depression plan :)(sarcasm inserted here)



Through some pretty serious soul searching and tear-riddled conversations with God, I really did find my answer....2 of them, in fact:



1. I needed to take my medication. Every single day, without fail. Much like a diabetic needs insulin....I need an anti-depressant. A diabetic can die without insulin......I had to realize that I could die without my anti-depressant. God and I had long conversations about this :) I questioned Him and didn't really understand. Couldn't He just make me perfect, take out the depression defect? Yes...He could...but then I wouldn't get to learn #2.



2. Learn to dance in the rain.....learn to praise Him no matter what. Over and over in the bible, people prayed to God for rain, because it gave new life and caused things to grow. And they praised Him in those storms, right in the middle of them! You don't have to wait for the storm to pass, you don't have to sit by, doing nothing, being depressed or angry.......dance with Him in the rain!



When Jesus was out on the water in the storm and called Peter out to Him, what do you think would have happened if Peter danced his way across the water? He wouldn't have fallen in, I think. Eyes upon Jesus, dancing in the new life the storm brings, Peter could have walked anywhere he wanted. But he didn't and he began to sink.



I don't like being depressed, I really truly don't. There is not a whole lot I can do about the way I feel (the depression) but I can do A LOT about how I choose to react to it. I can go boohoo in a corner by myself, isolating myself and making it worse OR I can dance. If any of you have seen Evan Almighty, there is a scene at the end where he does the happy dance with God.....I cry every time I watch that scene (ask my husband, I really do) because I want to do the happy dance with God.

And I do, every day :)